'A boy told me
if he roller-skated fast enough
his loneliness couldn’t catch up to him,
the best reason I ever heard
for trying to be a champion.'
- Naomi Nye
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Weblog
Saturday, 30 October 2010
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I don't like this space anymore.
also I came up with a creative username for my new blog.
go check it out.
Friday, 29 October 2010
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Gus is passing me all his allergies :( He's very sensitive to dust and now I get really sensitive too AND IT'S SO HARD TO SLEEP sigh
Okay I just wanted to say something prompted by a formspring question... that disabled kids are not retarded. I'm saying that discrimination against them is VERY FUCKING DESPICABLE.
Here. This is something that happened quite awhile back when I knew for the first time that Gus was an amazing guy and I wanted to be with him:
It was a Tuesday or something, two days from my older sister's birthday. For her birthday she was having a party and inviting all her friends from school. She goes to the Down's Syndrome Association which basically a school for DS kids to stay active and interact with other kids. So all her friends from DSA were going to her party which would be held at the swimming club that my family usually goes to. I wasn't going to go because I had something on (I forgot what), but when I told Gus about the party, he said, "OMG are you serious?! Can we go please please please please it'll be so cute" which was SHOCKING for me, because... who wants to go to that kinda party? But the fact that he really wanted to just... sigh. I mean it was one of those moments that I really just felt my heart melt and I knew that he was just a different guy.
The bottom line is... if you're one of those people that make fun of DS/autistic kids, chances are you're a fucking douche/asshole. It's like you're too fucking stupid to fucking understand that some people are just not as fortunate. It's seriously like you live in a goddamn bubble filled with mirrors so all you see is yourself. Especially if you're actually my age and older? It's honestly pathetic. The worst part is that DS/autistic kids don't always understand that they're being made fun of... when my older sister and I took ballet together, I HATED the girls because they always made fun of her. But to her, she thought they were her friends. And I'd always pray for my ballet teacher to come back quickly because she'd stand up for my sister and scold the girls in a way I could never do. All I could do was drag my sister somewhere safe, away from them. I understand at that time that kids are young, they don't know. That's why I'm saying if you're my age and older, and you STILL make fun of DS/autistic kids, then I'm sorry. You are a fucker.
And another thing I hate is people who act so awkward around them. Like inch further away or refuse eye contact WTF. As if you'll catch their disability through skin contact or being within their 1m radius. ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID FOR REAL. It's like you're so desperately trying to get away from them while trying to show that you don't discriminate against them. PLEASE oh god. I swear when I see these kinds of people my blood ~literally~ fills with boiling rage and hatred and I immediately mentally label them "RETARD". Haha.
Thursday, 28 October 2010
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The statement "live life with no regrets" is impossible to achieve. Every person has regrets. EVERY SINGLE PERSON. Regret regret regret regret regret regret it climbs into my body and perches itself on my ribcage, or it seeps into my skin and flows in my veins... Regret is not optional. It's a pre-requisite to living. Regret flows from mother to daughter, from daughter to grandson. It's a molecule that is transferred through the umbilical cord, it's the fluid that dances around an forming baby in the amniotic sac.
We are born into a lifetime of regrets. It's a fact. It's as true as H2SO4 is sulphuric acid and as true as the warmth I feel under my blanket.
I'm tired of the what-ifs. But it's shocking how many times I only realize there was a what-if to begin with when it's too late.
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Otherwise, the only thing keeping me happy now is my new Gus shirt
It's his army shirt. He just gave it to me. I'm wearing it to commemorate his last day of serving NS. He is over the moon and I am equally ecstatic.
Also, if you've watched The Social Network, you'd have realized what a tasty treat for the eyes Andrew Garfield is... I don't normally find men hot. HAHA that sounds like I'm a lesbian. Okay let me clarify. There are very few men that I find hot. Very few: Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, Bradley Cooper. Out of millions of hot men. I don't know why, and also for some reason if a person is too hot, I get very turned off by it. Eg Adrian Brody. I really like guys who are goodlooking but a little flawed as well, like Xabi Alonso! ANYWAY. I don't normally think of guys as 'hot' but I'd rather use words like 'handsome', 'charming', 'nice body', 'cute', etc. It's more specific. Anyway, Andrew Garfield is charming and handsome, and he is tall
I like tall guys. Either way Gus is the bestest most handsome and charming man on earth, but maybe Andrew Garfield comes second... I hope he's not like a jerk in real life. Sometimes I feel like Aaron Johnson might be a jerk in real life. I also think he got less cute.
Wednesday, 27 October 2010
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There are lots of things I'm thinking of doing because I think I'm old enough, but I haven't done because... of a variety of reasons. Like
1. get a tattoo
I really want a small one, like either on my shoulder blade, on my right lower back, on my right hip or on my foot/ankle. I don't know of what yet, I think I would like an elephant hehe. Just a small one that can be easily hidden. But I HAVEN'T done it because I'm so scared that it'll hurt so bad... plus if I got it on my hip, I'd have an obligation to never get fat EVER or the elephant will become deformed. Gus is going to get one too. Like for real cos he's not scared of the pain at all. It is my duty to ensure he does not transform into a bengster. I don't think I want to get words, cos when you do, 20 years later you look at it and think "omg what a pretentious douche I was" unless it was a bible verse or something2. travel with friends
I KNOW ugh I can't believe it either. I feel like none of my friends want to... :( Also because of logistics and money reasons, of course. But mostly because there is no one... The only trip I've taken with "friends" was my dive trip to Tioman, which was fun but not with my close close friends. I really want that trip, to wherever it is.3. Surf. Because of ^
Some other stuff too. Sigh I feel like life is ticking away and I am rolling around in bed not because I want to but because getting up will yield me the same satisfaction as rolling around in bed, so I might as well roll. Now I am craving a rive gauche cake MMM
Monday, 25 October 2010
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OKAY I'm going to show everyone some of my dad's photography! He's been doing it for about maybe 6 to 7 years now... he spends a lot of money on his equipment and on his photography trips, but they yield very beautiful results! I'm very proud of him, especially when one of his pictures was published in Asian Geographic! Plus, don't you think it's quite amazing that he's pursuing his passion? He's semi-retired now so that gives him time, which is really, really great. He loves photography a lot.
You know how they say good photography tells a story? I actually don't know who says that, but I think that's what good photography probably is. Haha. Anyway, my dad likes to take pictures in very off the map places, or places that a very different from the usual. So I'm trying to recall all the places he's been to (it makes me very jealous but I also get worried because he travels so much):
